7, 8 and 9 months

This started as a 7 month post but as the days just fell off of the calendar... it is ending up a post about 3 different months. Mom fail.

On Monday, October 6th, my sweet little guy turned 7 months old. As Brother gets older, the time time seems to go by faster.

On the first, you bumped up to wearing a size three diaper. This also means we are getting to the last of the diaper shower diapers. Thanks to my school friends, we didn't have to buy too many diapers since you were born. 7 months is a long time! In other clothes, you are wearing six month shirts and pants that range from 3-6 months. Pants have always seemed so big for the size the tag says, like when you are comfortably wearing newborn pants at three months old.

In the food department, you have tried all of your vegetables. You prefer the green ones but after lots of coaxing, you will eat the orange ones. You love to gobble up your cereal! You will even grab the spoon and help put it in your mouth. 

Sleep wise you do pretty good. You sleep best after a bowl of cereal and bottle of milk. If we skip on the cereal, you tend to wake up around 3 am.

During Fall Break, you had your first dose of your flu shot. You and Kinley did pretty well. {we returned over Thanksgiving break for the second half.. you took it like a champ! Nurse Kelly started to say "really?!" like "really? he isn't going to cry?" but then you let out a little peep and that was all. Kinley stood to the side telling you "It's okay Wyatt Boy."} At this appointment, I stuck you on the scale on the way out. 7.6 kg= 16.75 pounds!

On November 1st, just shy of 8 months old, I spent my first night away from you. I ventured off to Austin with Tiffany, Courtney and Flat Erin to attend Missy's wedding. The girls and I had a lovely time and you and Kinley seemed to survive the night with Dad. :) After I returned, I learned that you had fallen out of the glider and Kinley toppled over with a bar stool. See if I leave you guys again!

Look at those two teeth!

Dad has started putting you in 9 month clothes, mainly jammies, and I am none too happy about it. It just means that my little guy is growing up and I just would like to keep you small forever! You are still in size three diapers.

You eat any baby food that we give you. Rice cereal seems to be your favorite though. You also ventured in to a few soft big people foods. Like the time I found out Dad was sneaking you macaroni while I was out for bunco or girl's night. :) You also tried some Thanksgiving food with me.

When you left your teachers before Thanksgiving break you were a sitter. When you returned after a week at home, you were a mover! Your crawl isn't typical. You move all hands and feet but instead of crawling on both of your knees, you crawl on one and then use your other foot to push off with.

December was a busy month! We had places to go and people to meet... mainly Santa. To say you were not a fan is an understatement.

December 6th you were 9 months old... where is the time going?!?!

Your 9 month check up was on the 22nd of December. You weighed in at 17 pounds and were 27 inches tall (according to the doctor's office but Dad thinks you are taller than that). Dr. M. said that based on the typical kid your age, you are small but she still thinks you look good and are growing nicely. Your sister was small too so she isn't worried about you. You lucked out and didn't have to get any shots either!

You are still wearing size three diapers and your clothes range from 6 months to 12 months (which I really don't like the sound of). Over the Christmas break, you have been eating food more often (and by food I mean baby food) and having a bottle in the morning and a big 9 oz bottle at night. You are a super sleeper, only waking occasionally when you miss me at night. You nap twice a day and some days need a quick early evening power nap.

Your ongoing trick is your alligator roll. You tend to just toss your whole self into a roll and that is why we call it the alligator roll. We can be holding you, you can be laying on the floor or on your changing pad (which is the second most dangerous to being held).

For your first Christmas, Santa brought you a car hauler but you loved the puffs in your stocking the best. You spent the day at home with us, Nandy, Grandpa O and Grandma and Grandpa Snow. Opening presents did not prove to be very exciting to you until we opened up the puffs to eat. We had lunch with our family and then young and old took naps all over the house.

You worked hard and your two front teeth poked through for Christmas.... only 3 and 4 days late. They seem to make you a little fussy but nothing we can't handle with a little Tylenol and an animal. You experienced your first snow on the 27th. It was also late for Christmas.

When you return back to your teachers after Christmas break, you will be a puller-upper! I was getting ready on the 29th, I literally turned around for a second and then back to see you had pulled yourself up on the tub and turned the water on!

these were a gift from our friend Heidi
(thanks, Robin!)

My sweet Brother Bear time is going too fast! You light up a room with your blue eyes and then charm the pants off of it with your smile. I can't wait to see what you do in the world. 

Always remember that you are all because two people fell in love,
Love,
Mommy


{whew. just in time to start the 10 month update!}

Another Day, Another Memory

In preparation for a new phone, I spent some time trying to make sure a few of the videos on my phone were saved elsewhere. I'm not one to commemorate 'deathaversaries' but after 373 days, there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of my Pa. It is heart breaking when Kinley says, "I want to see Pa." but I want to make sure there is always a place that she can hear his sweet voice singing silly songs to her.

I've said it before but I could say it a million times (and I just might, it's my blog) but Pa thought Kinley was so smart. At 17 months old, he could see it. If he could see her in person now, she would blow his mind! And little Wyatt, he would absolutely love your sweet smile and blue eyes.

Today would also be my Grandma's 94th birthday. She was a sassy gal that would have enjoyed Kinley's spunk and Wyatt's smile and blue eyes. She was known to comment on how handsome men were, mainly her crush Bill Clinton (back in his Presidential days) and Elvis. 

There is such irony to getting old. Obviously, you want to see your kids grow up and do stuff but then there is the ineveitable. What makes little old people with their great grandkids seem so precious? Why can't we be like the Bible times people and live until we are 150? When you think about it, is any amount ever enough time with your family? 

To end on a high note.....
May this sweet thing, in all her high pitch singing glory, bring a smile to your heart, especially when Jesus loves Mommy, Daddy, Wyatt and Tobie too!

And this cutie reminds us to laugh at the silly things, especially our sister!

Pity Party--Table for 1

I know that life isn't fair but sometimes I just want to be a little kid, mad and crying, jumping up and down shouting how "It's not fair!" 

As my babies get bigger and keep growing, there is slight ache within my heart. Not necessarily the fact that they won't listen and they won't stop growing up. No, it's the ache of my Pa missing out on this. 

The ache knowing that Kinley may only have a few memories of him and those memories will probably be ones that we have pictures or video of. Knowing that he didn't get a chance to see how much Kinley loves to ride Molly. The ache knowing that Wyatt never met him. Knowing that Wyatt never had a chance to hang with him or have his silly songs sung to him. Knowing that he didn't get to enjoy Wyatt's sweet smile.

The days that Kinley tells me, "I'na see Pa." are just heart wrenching. I love that she thinks of him. I love that she can point him out in a picture. I just wish heaven had visiting hours.

Pa always loved chatting with you!

Kinley and Wyatt,
If there is anything to tell you about your Pa, it was how much he really loved you. Even though he never met you, Wyatt, he already loved you so much. Once he knew you were cooking in my belly, he asked about you every time we talked. Kinley, he loved to brag on how smart you are. His eyes would light up when he saw you. He was so silly. He loved his family time. He was honest to a fault. He was proud. He was curious about everything and loved to learn. I hope I am able to help instill some of his traits into you both as you grow up.



I also have the ache that my Mom isn't here to be Grandma. I almost feel guilty that this ache isn't as strong but I never knew my Mom in the Grandma role. Don't get me wrong, I have the, "dang, I wish my mom had been here for ..." moments. But I have been having those for what seems like all of my life, so it almost seems normal. All those times girls want their mom, I wanted her, too. I like to think I wouldn't be able to keep her away from seeing her grandbabies. Skype would be busy every night and probably start charging us.

Okay. Enough.
End scene. {exits pity party.}

PS- now, if you need a smile, go back and read some of Pa's comments. He was such a funny guy!

Roller Coaster!

{I originally started this post at least one month [scratch that] three months [scratch that too] ten months ago. Regardless, it has been an array of emotions since it was started.}

At the beginning of November, the first to be exact, Pa went to the hospital in kidney failure. Before they could make a plan about his kidneys, they said they needed to put in a pacemaker since his heart stopped twice the night before and started again on its own. Before I could get to Enid, he had a pacemaker and was on the mend. He was kind of loopy when I got there and started telling me about the papers in the safe and his regular run down of where I could find things. He went in on Friday and had the pacemaker put in on Saturday. By Sunday the nephrologist told me her recommendation was to call in hospice. She thought the rigor of dialysis would do him in. This was a lot for me to take in. I mean, earlier in the day, my dad and I were looking at a new dishwasher for their house. I was also under the impression that the doctor had already had this conversation with him so I went to the hospital prepared to discuss what we would do next.

We sat and chatted and nothing was mentioned about hospice, which come to find out the doctor hadn't told him, she wanted to prepare the family first. I took off work Monday so I could talk to his PCP about his thoughts of after care. I was thinking his primary physician would have a discussion with him Monday morning about the prognosis of his kidneys...but alas he did not. So I left messages for the doctor to call me, the ICU nurses left messages for the doctor to call them but he wasn't returning any of those. After later speaking to a sweet nurse from Pa's oncologist, who ended up telling him there really wasn't anything they could do to help his kidneys, I took myself to the doctor's office and sat in his waiting room until he would see me. You see, I didn't take off of work, and couldn't keep taking off, to not get any answers, so I wasn't leaving without answers. From body language, I could tell his office staff did not think too highly of me just showing up and asking to speak to the doctor. One thing I overheard was, "that just isn't how things work around here." Well, it worked crabby office lady. His prognosis of 6-8 months was quite different than the nephrologists of 6-8 weeks.

I then returned to the hospital where Pa and I further discussed after care. He asked me if PCP doctor had told me the prognosis and I said the nephrologist had. Being a man of truthful words, he had some good ones about the PCP and not being honest with him. After tears, doubt, and reassuring, we decided it would be best for them both to move my direction into a nursing home so Nandy and Pa could be together until Pa's kidneys quit. His biggest concern was that Nandy get settled before something happened to him. He didn’t care that his body was calling it in. He cared that his girlfriend was taken care of.

One of the most heart breaking things I've seen is my Pa telling Nandy that his kidneys are not working anymore and that they will be moving to a nursing home together near me. Her dementia is far enough along that her only response was, "Okay. I'll go wherever with you." Amidst the tears, he assured her he would stay with her as long as he could. He didn't care that he was dying, he cared that he felt like he was leaving his girlfriend, letting her down and not taking care of her. After my Dad left to take Nandy back to the house, I assured Pa that he was in fact taking care of her. Helping make the decision to move was going to get her settled in before the inevitable happened.

I was then instructed to go the house and tell Nandy's sister, who had been staying with Nandy while Pa was in the hospital. Then I headed back home because I had some nursing home research to do. I went to work Tuesday morning just because I needed a little bit of normal...hard to think that 20 kindergartners were what was going to give me normal. By 10:30, I had called my sub to see if she could come in for the afternoon. My mind was all over the place but I knew it needed to be making phone calls so Mrs. Chambers to the rescue! I had asked around for nursing homes that people knew of and spent the afternoon calling about 10 places. From noon to 4:00, I did nothing but call, take notes, research online and wait for people to return my call. 

That afternoon, my sweet PE teacher went with me, in the rain, to visit two nursing homes in Sapulpa. If someone had not seen us walk into the first one, I would have turned around and left based on smell alone. We went ahead and had a quick tour by a sweet lady that was actually on her way out. I was not impressed in any way with what I saw. The smell did get better but maybe my nose just got used to it? You know that feeling you have after going to a bar? You know, where your hair and clothes stink like the bar? We had that feeling after leaving. I don't think we actually smelled bad but it was not good. I was brave enough to ask her if she would go to one more with me and she agreed. The second one was better the moment we walked in. We were toured through the place by the night nurse. She seemed very knowledgeable about the facility as well as the residents. She spoke to many of them by name as we passed and didn't seem the least bit worried we would see something out of the ordinary. There was no rancid old person smell either. This facility was recommended to me by a co-worker that had her mother there recently.

After leaving, I knew where I would choose if there were only two options. I went back to school and prepared sub plans for Wednesday since I called in so that I could go visit some more nursing homes. Sweet Miss Maxwell stayed at school with me until my plans were ready and even offered to take part of the following day off to go with to more places. Wednesday morning, I toured a place in Sand Springs. They have a specific building for memory care patients, which Nandy may need some day. The ladies I spoke to were nice and knowledgeable about the facility.

The plan was that Maxwell was a cousin but I always goofed it up by saying my grandparents. It really turned out that I had all the questions and she was there for moral support. She mentioned feeling silly just being there but I kept saying my and blowing our cover. I am very grateful that she went with me. Not too many friends will volunteer to visit nursing homes with people. It's not like it is the most fun thing to do with your time let alone take off work for. She helped to make it a more fun experience than it truly is. I’d recommend her company any day!

In the afternoon, I picked Maxwell up and we went to two other places. One in Jenks that actually had a pre-k and kindergarten class at it. It was really neat to see the kids out interacting with the residents. Some of the little old ladies were out chatting with the kids and having ice cream with them. The man that took us on a tour of the place did not seem to take me seriously. I felt like he thought I was there for shits and giggles. He told me they currently did not a have room that would accommodate both of my grandparents but they could still be in the same building. Being roommates was one of the criteria that I had to have, after all, the point of moving was so they could be together. Neither one of us were impressed with his demeanor. I felt rushed and I didn't feel like he was really that interested in selling me on the place.

At our next stop, I felt less than impressed when I walked in but was told they had a nice memory unit. We were greeted by a little old man that was very heavy in passing out compliments. So if you want at boost in your attitude… stop on by! The lady we talked to was very nice. She took us through the facility but as I looked around I wasn't impressed. To me, it almost seemed like the family members of the residents didn't care about the surroundings. Many of the rooms were bare, as if they didn't care to try and make this home for their family. Then she took us to the lock down, memory unit. You also may refer to it as the crazy house. People trying to get out as you come in, a lady following you around saying "didididididi" carrying a doll. There was nothing on the cement walls of the rooms. It almost reminded me of a jail cell. There is no way my grandma would fit in there and Pa would tell me I was "bat shit crazy" if I tried to move them in there. I envisioned him telling me he would walk back to Enid before spending a night there.

On the way back to get Kinley, we stopped at the place I had a morning visit with. Their facility is locked down but not to the extent of the previous. It is a newer place where it was obvious the families wanted it to seem like home. We checked in at the main place and they told us to go over and someone would come show us around. We rang the bell but no one came to the door, except the visiting wife of a resident. She happily let us in so I walked Maxwell through. We made it through the entire facility without being spoken to by a worker. Heck, we didn't even see anyone that worked there. Talked to a couple old ladies that were just sitting out in the common area but no workers were to be seen. It wasn't until we were leaving and chatted with the wife about her experience there that someone approached us. That alone did not really sit well with me.

So back to the school we went. Visited with a few people there and tried to feel okay with a huge decision. I mean, my Pa trusted me to pick a place for them to live. I had earlier talked to my Dad. He informed me that he set up an appointment for the dog to go to the groomer. Why couldn’t I have had that job??? Why did I have to make the nursing home decision?! I went back and forth on feeling confident about my decision. What if I got them there and Pa hated it? What if Nandy hated it? What if Pa changed his mind about moving? [insert bad dreams about all this] What if? What if? What if?

Snap out of it, you are 31 years old making the best decision you know how to in this situation. But so much is weighing on your shoulders… A place needed to be decided on and it was a relief to make it but also daunting. The ‘what ifs’ came back but only time would tell.

The next task was getting Pa out of the hospital and getting both of them brought over to Sapulpa. Hubby went to Enid on the 13^th, with my brother and niece in tow. Three people (Hubby, Dad and Brother) were told they needed to be at the nursing home by 2:00 (really the deadline was 3:00 but I know my Dad and Brother so I fibbed) so that there was more staff available to get them settled and checked out. 1:30 p.m. I get a text from Hubby that they are backing out of the driveway. Now, do some math with me…. it takes 90 minutes to drive there. Nevermind, you know they did not make it by the 2:00 deadline or even 3:00. I get out of school at 4:00 and got there right as they were getting out of the car.

It took some time for them to adjust. Pa sat and worried about money, the car, the house, Nandy, and the baby and I. Money, the car, and the house were the least of my worries. I just wanted my grandparents to be together. To get settled and feel comfortable for what time they did have left... together. 

After about 8 days in their new place, Pa told me, "I think you did good, kid." What a relief! That is what I worried about! I wondered but didn't want to ask (for fear of the answer) if Pa approved of the place that I had chosen. You know, those 'what if's' I mentioned earlier. Just hearing that gave me some peace of mind.

I feel very fortunate to have been able to spend so much more time with my grandparents once they were moved over here. Kinley and I would go visit after school, almost everyday, depending on our schedule. Nandy and Pa would both get so excited to see her come in. I brought forth a little excitement but it was really all for Kinley, which is sweet to see how much they love her.

6 Months

My Sweet Wyatt Boy,
Even though my blogging and posting for you has been rather dismal, my love for you is far from it. A wise old man once told me that even if I couldn't blog, no one could take my memories away from me. They will always and forever be in my mind and heart.

The smiles you give every day warm my heart.
The little laughs you have when Kinley talks to you are so precious.
The way you watch Tobie walk by with your curious little eyes.
Your gummy smile is so adorable.
The sweet way you clasp your hands together when you are trying the baby cereal is so innocent.
The way your eyes light up when you see your sister and daddy talk to you.
Have I mentioned your smile? It's infectious.
Every time I look into your blue eyes, I fall more in love with you. Oh, I've never mentioned that you have blue eyes?!? Well, that is partly because I am afraid to talk about them for fear taht they will change. {crossing my fingers that I didn't just jinx them}
You are so drooly but haven't had any teeth show up.

Daddy took you to your six month check-up on September 11. As usual... the height measuring was wonky, saying you are 25 inches. Our home measurements show you being 27 inches tall. For the first time, their weight scale was wrong (hopefully this one doesn't become a regular broken machine). It said you weighed 11 pounds, which would mean you lost weight since your 4 month check up and I can tell by looking at you that is not the case! According to our scale at home, Daddy says you weigh 15 pounds.

You are wearing size 2 diapers, mostly six month clothing, and no shoes. You have had a few shoe wearing experiences but they usually end in one or both shoes kicked off. I hope that when the weather changes we are able to at least keep socks on you.

At home, you eat 7 ounces every 4-5 hours. You started trying rice cereal on September 1. You didn't love it the first time you ate it but you tolerated it. As the days have gone on, you are a better cereal eater. At school, you seem too distracted to drink all of your milk in one setting so you generally have 6 ounces every 4 hours there. At home, you have also had squash, carrots, and green beans, all of which you like. Dad likes to make you a vegetable, rice cereal, breast milk combo, which you gobble up too.

Your naps at school vary. In the last couple days you have been stocking up on the ZZZZ's and having long naps at school. Maybe you are getting your grow on before you go to the doctor. At home, I think you would nap more if a certain sister didn't love you so much. Any time you wake up, Kinley is right there to check on you. The girls at school tell me that she will always check on you after nap too.

This month, I have noticed your hair coming back in. Wait, you didn't really have any to start with! So, your hair is finally growing. It is very blonde so it is isn't noticeable from afar but up close you have a fuzzy little head. As of the 18th, you actually sprouted your first tooth! All of the drooling and chewing on your hands, fingers, and paci have paid off.

As I said before, you make my heart skip a beat. I am so lucky to be your Mommy. Remember, I am always here for you.

You are all because two people fell in love,
Love,
Mommy

4 and 5 months

You turned 4 months old on July 6.

We also had you baptized at church that day. As I sit here starting this post, you are making music to my ears, cooing away. I am sure those coos are saying, "Mom! You are slacking on blogging about me. Get with it woman!"

July 11th, you went for your 4 month check up. You weighed 13 pounds 10 ounces and are in the 25%. You measured 24.5 inches tall, putting you in the 30% for kids your age.

In the last couple weeks, you have found your feet and see to always have hold of them when you are playing on the floor. You also love to see just how much of your hand you fit into your mouth. When we are riding in the car, if you aren't asleep, you are playing with your tongue.


On August 6, you turned 5 months old! Where is the time going little man?

Mmm! Hand to chew on!

Now for a little bite of Tiger paci!

August 4th, you and Kinley started "school" at Miss Jade's. It took a week or so for them to figure you out and get into a routine with you but you did just fine. We even tried to get a discount since you came with a personal assistant. The girls informed us that Kinley is very helpful and kept a watchful eye on you. The way I see her at home with you, I expected no less. From what they told me, she was even a little territorial at first. She didn't want anyone to sit near you or talk to you without her supervision.

First day of school picture with Kinley

3 months

June 6, 2014 marked a quarter of a year for you little guy!

At three months old, you are such a little cutie. There aren't any height or weight stats since you don't go back to the doctor until 4 months.

You are still wearing size one diapers. Several of your newborn shirts are getting a little snug on you. We should probably go ahead and weed those out of your drawers instead of continuing to squeeze you into them. :) {I suppose that is my way of keeping you my little baby boy.} So, for the most part you are wearing 3 month clothes. 

You have 5.5-6 ounces of mommy made milk every 4ish hours, depending on if you urp any up in between feedings. I keep saying we need to make you wait it out a little longer so that you are eating more in one feeding. I must say that when you eat with Dad, your bottle seems to drag on for quite some time because you two like to nap together. Who knows, when you have a bottle with me, ours may take just as long but I don't notice since I am snuggling you. :)

You don't really mind tummy time but have found out that you can roll yourself over to end it! The first time you did it, and most times there after, it has been when you get mad about it. One day you rolled yourself over and then scooted clear off of the playmat you were on in only a few minutes. Maybe you are teaching yourself to do this quickly in hopes of escaping your Sister. She does love you so much... She just doesn't know how to control all of her love.

You have found your feet! You have also started hanging onto things...your animals (pacifier), toes, my hair, your burp cloth, my hair. Oh I mentioned my hair already, well you like it, a lot. It is hard to pry it out of your tight little grip!

Your awake times are more fun now. You like to look around and take everything in. Your Sister is the best at making you smile when she talks to you.

You are all because two people fell in love,
Love,
Mommy