Monday, June 16, 2014

Title Less

I tried to give this post a title... But nothing jumped out or came to me.

On June 3, I feel like my Mom had her best birthday in 19 years... She was able to celebrate it with her Daddy. Being Father's Day, I imagine Pa had the best one in years. He was able to celebrate with his kids again. It is such a bittersweet feeling. (I imagine Pa loved his birthday back in April too!)

As my babies grow, I can't help but think how he would interact with them. Kinley loves to ride Molly, the rocking horse he made when I was in junior high, and the whole time I just think about how he would get a kick out of that. Or how he would just love to talk with her now that she is just a little older. I imagine she would have had a few cuss words under her belt too, as she can be a little parrot these days. We recently, finally, hung some pictures up. Kinley sees one of Pa and recognizes him and says, "Hi Pa!" I love it and am impressed that she recognizes him in pictures. 

Though he would be afraid of breaking him, Pa would love Brother Bear. It saddens me that he will never know him in person. I also think back to the day in the hospital that Pa felt him moving around. He just thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I mean, it is amazing, but seeing how excited and proud he was, was adorable. 

As I write this, I can't help but think about what kind of grandma my Mom would be. It stings to know that I have had more birthdays, Christmases and every other holiday, without her than I had with her. (this is turning into such a depressing post!) Being  a mom for a short two years, there have already been times that I think, "My mother just came out of my mouth!" When that happens I just smile and take comfort in knowing that even in our short time together, I was able to learn to be the kind of mother that she was. There are still some of her qualities that I strive to have but maybe someday they will just come to me.

In the mean time, I can feel comforted in knowing that those two, my Mom and Pa, are probably having such a great time together, laughing at me wanting to pull my hair out when Kinley pops her little stubborn attitude out at me.

1 comment:

  1. You're a wonderful momma and I always hope I'm a little like you when I get there. I bet your mom & Pa are both very proud of you.