Monday, June 16, 2014

Title Less

I tried to give this post a title... But nothing jumped out or came to me.

On June 3, I feel like my Mom had her best birthday in 19 years... She was able to celebrate it with her Daddy. Being Father's Day, I imagine Pa had the best one in years. He was able to celebrate with his kids again. It is such a bittersweet feeling. (I imagine Pa loved his birthday back in April too!)

As my babies grow, I can't help but think how he would interact with them. Kinley loves to ride Molly, the rocking horse he made when I was in junior high, and the whole time I just think about how he would get a kick out of that. Or how he would just love to talk with her now that she is just a little older. I imagine she would have had a few cuss words under her belt too, as she can be a little parrot these days. We recently, finally, hung some pictures up. Kinley sees one of Pa and recognizes him and says, "Hi Pa!" I love it and am impressed that she recognizes him in pictures. 

Though he would be afraid of breaking him, Pa would love Brother Bear. It saddens me that he will never know him in person. I also think back to the day in the hospital that Pa felt him moving around. He just thought it was the most amazing thing ever. I mean, it is amazing, but seeing how excited and proud he was, was adorable. 

As I write this, I can't help but think about what kind of grandma my Mom would be. It stings to know that I have had more birthdays, Christmases and every other holiday, without her than I had with her. (this is turning into such a depressing post!) Being  a mom for a short two years, there have already been times that I think, "My mother just came out of my mouth!" When that happens I just smile and take comfort in knowing that even in our short time together, I was able to learn to be the kind of mother that she was. There are still some of her qualities that I strive to have but maybe someday they will just come to me.

In the mean time, I can feel comforted in knowing that those two, my Mom and Pa, are probably having such a great time together, laughing at me wanting to pull my hair out when Kinley pops her little stubborn attitude out at me.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

On the Day You Were Born

39 weeks 2 days
and the last baby bump picture for Brother Bear
Thursday, March 6th, you decided to make your entrance into this world.
 The day started like any other, no wait, I woke up around 4:30,  that's not how we start our days. The coughing and cold that I was battling first woke me...

39 weeks pregnant is not the time to catch a cold, have allergies or whatever it was that I had. While coughing, I was concerned that I was going to a) pee my pants, b) cough this baby right out, or c) all of the above. One of those may or may not have happened on more than one occasion.

As I was coughing, I kept thinking, "is that a contraction or just my body reacting to the coughing fit?" Then I was up for the bathroom. I didn't get sick this time but I knew then, based on my previous experience, that my body was preparing to have a baby. Since I had been sick, I was sleeping upstairs because I didn't want Hubby to catch it or be kept up all night with my coughing, so I just kept track of my contractions. I mean, I still wasn't completely convinced I was actually in labor since it was before my due date.

Right after 6 a.m., I texted my wonderful sub. She had planned on coming in to observe how I run the class and what our routine is.... little did she know, she was in for the rest of the year after answering that text! I was totally not prepared for her. 
{The day before, I actually told my two teacher pals, "At this point, I should leave everyday as if I am not coming back.". Unfortunately, I didn't stay to make it presentable because I felt terrible from the cold. But Mrs. Chambers is a rock star and was able to work it out!} 
After confirming that she would be me, I went downstairs and told Hubby, who had started feeling sickly, to put on his "big boy panties because I think we are having a baby today. We need to put the car seat in my car, pack a bag, pack Kinley's things, drop her off and head in to be checked out."

This time around, I was afraid that I was going to arrive at the hospital and they tell me I am crazy and not having a baby today. For that very fear, I had asked Mrs. Chambers and my principal to just tell people I was home sick. However, by 11:15 a.m. I was dilated to a 6! Baby is on his way!

It took a bit to get into a room. We later found out that 12 other babies were born on March 6! Our labor and delivery nurse, Tiffany, had delivered 3 other babies before we had gotten there! The contractions were getting more painful, so I was offered some pain relief through my IV. She told me it would take 5-10 minutes to kick in and that I would feel a little loopy and sleepy. She was totally right! But it was lovely!

I would say that by 12:30 I had my epidural and was feeling just fine. Dr. Wiemar even made it for this delivery! We spent some time doing practice pushes with Tiffany before she called him back to deliver. I suppose this is when having your office right across the street from the hospital comes in handy. When he got back to our room, she said she had called him a little early because Brother did not like pushing and was having a hard time coming under my pelvis. So, Dr. Wiemar wanted to see for himself and it was true. He told us he'd like to try using forceps to grab his little head and help him out. He said it would probably take 2 or 3 contractions to get him out that way but he was right there. It only took us 2 or 3 pushes during one contraction before Wyatt Ryker made his debut at 2:30 p.m.!

All the while trying to have a baby, I was battling that cough. They would want me to push, push, push but I could only do so much pushing before I had to cough again. As I mentioned this was the worst time to be sick. Alas, Wyatt made it safely and that is what matters.

After delivering, we spent extra time in labor and delivery because I had a 102 degree fever. Dr. W. did not seem to think it was delivery related but they didn't want to send me off to the post partum wing with that high of a fever. After lots of reminders to my nurse, she was waiting on the pharmacy, I was able to get some cough medicine. Then finally after a good hour or more, my coughing was getting better. 

When you were actually born only a handful of people knew you were on your way. We spent those couple hours after delivery snuggling you, just Dad and I, talking about how cute you were and how blessed we are to have another sweet, healthy baby. You also went with Dad to have your first bath. I used that time to relax. At this point, my ribs and stomach hurt from coughing so much. Around 4:30, my coughing had finally slowed down and fever came down a little so we called the grandparents and texted other friends and family.

Your first visitor was your big sister, Kinley, along with Jade and Journey.

Kinley came walking in with them looking like such a big girl. She wasn't too sure about this hospital place but was excited to see her Dad. As soon as she realized I was holding a baby, she wanted nothing to do with me or the baby. I was a little heart broken at that but knew it was late and her whole world had changed while she was at Jade's. We were able to take a family picture (minus big sister, Tobie) before Kinley headed back to Jade's for the night. By staying with Jade, Kinley was able to keep her daytime routine and be with people she was familiar with. We are forever grateful that the Beck family took our sweet girl in. I had no worries that she was in good hands {though I often thought about her and prayed she would come around to loving her little brother}.

While in the hospital, the doctor continued to treat my cough. All this time, you took well to breast feeding so were off to the races! At 24 hours old, you passed your hearing check with flying colors. Friday evening, you had visitors from my teacher friends, your Grandpa O and sister Kinley. During this visit she warmed up to you more. She still wasn't 100% about you but a definite improvement from the night before. Grandpa O was able to snap a few more pictures of our new family too.

By Saturday morning, I was complaining of a gargling feeling in my throat, like when I would breathe, it would feel like something was in he the back of my throat. The doctor ordered a chest X-ray because he thought he heard some fluid in my lungs. The X-ray confirmed that I was developing pneumonia in the lower part of my left lung. We decided it was best to stay one more night to get breathing treatments and rest since I needed to be healthy for our new little guy. I had been fortunate to have two great nurses on the post partum floor. They really kept on top of my medicines and trying to get me better... Until Saturday night.

The new shift started at 7. I was supposed to get pain medicine at 8. I was getting a little rest and nursing so I didn't realize it was past due. As soon as Hubby returned from a quick run home to feed and love on Tobie, I sent him to track her down. He did that at 9 and she didn't make it to the room until 9:30. Needless to say, I had to call her when I was supposed to have medicine so I was very unimpressed with her. The day nurse on Sunday was nothing to write home about either. She was very by the book, like read us word for word, in a monotone voice, all of the discharge papers. We were finally discharged around 3:30 and made it home around 4:00.

Tobie was excited to meet you and greeted you with many kisses. Dad then took you on a tour of the house so you would know your way around. Since we were so late getting discharged, your sister was at a birthday party with Jade and didn't make it home to greet you until 5:30ish. She was more open to the idea of a baby and was kind of all of in your face. She just kept saying, "baby! baby." over and over and over, in a loud, high pitched voice. We worked on calling you Wyatt but she liked Baby better. We would make the mistake of saying, "Hi, Buddy!" and without skipping a beat, she would say, "Hi, Buuddy."

Your first night at home was busy. You ate every 3 hours and pooped or peed in between

And that little guy is all about the Day You Were Born {and a few days after}.